


Just a simple crush?

by Chocoboy_James



Category: FFXIV, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Jailberd, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocoboy_James/pseuds/Chocoboy_James
Summary: My first work I share on this website. I am thoroughly nervous about it!This about my own OC, James Fidelis, a young Hyuran who has joined the Crystal Braves, only to figure out he has a crush on his own captain, Ilberd.Not knowing how he is supposed to mention this to the man, he was eventually forced to do it nonetheless. The outcome, however, was not what the young man had expected.(Depending on the feedback, I will share more of these two, or my own OC, in other works. Pre-emtive thank you for reading <3!)
Relationships: Ilberd Feare/James Fidelis
Kudos: 3





	Just a simple crush?

The two Braves we're together yet again, in old Revenant’s Toll. The young James was looking around frantically for his captain, who had been eluding the young man for quite some time now. His lance was held firmly in his hands, and he could even feel his sweat break out because of the nerve wrecking feelings he felt.  
Why did the captain always had to be so swift. James even almost had him, before the Ala Mhigan smirked and dodged off. The young man’s eyes flashed from rock to rock, even the smallest flowers didn't escape his view. But of course a man of Ilberd’s posture won't ever hide behind those small flowers.  
“I have you now!”

James jumped up and heard the man’s voice coming from above him. Before the blonde could even look up, he was already rolling alongside the captain over the hard cold ground.  
Eventually, James came to a stop. His lance fell right beside him, but before he could pick it up, Ilberd’s foot slammed on the wood.  
“When will you ever learn?” He mentioned angrily, his eyes staring down towards the young man with disappointment. James tried to pry the lance from under the man’s foot, but it was harder than he thought it would be. Gritting his teeth, the blonde tugged harder and harder. He could hear Ilberd scoff, as the man lifted his foot the moment James pulled hard. Again, the young man fell back on the ground and a groan escaped his lips.  
“That was sloppy of you, Fidelis.”  
James frowned and sat up, looking up towards the man, who now was surprisingly amused.  
“May I ask what's the meaning of you teasing me?” James hissed and stood up on his wobbly feet. Ilberd picked up the young man’s lance and threw it back. Catching it just in time, James still was not letting his stare go on his captain.  
“Last time I was too strict, now I am lightening it up, and still you wonder?”  
The Highlander mentioned, and James could sense he was confused  
“My apologies, I hadn't noticed.” A blush got on the blonde’s face, who then shyly looked over towards the ground.  
A sigh came from the Ala Mhigan who sheathed his sword.  
“This will be all for today, Fidelis.”  
With guilt in his eyes, James looked back towards Ilberd, who looked back with his usual stern gaze. “Wash yourself up, and get some rest.”  
“Yes, captain…” James mumbled, as he lowered his shoulders, shuffling behind the captain, who was already walking off back towards Revenant’s Toll. 

As they returned in the warm quarters that was the Rising Stones, James immediately went towards his room, to get a new set of his uniform before heading out to wash himself. Rethinking his lesson of today, he felt odd. This was maybe his tenth sparring with the captain and still he could not best the man. It most certainly did not help that his crush on Ilberd was getting bigger and bigger.  
That odd feeling in his tummy returned. People often mentioned he had butterflies in his stomach. But for all good those words were, James wanted to avoid falling in love with his captain. There was nothing that would come of it either. Placing his hand on the spot where the feeling originated from, he closed his eyes. All he wanted was not think of Ilberd. But of course not wanting to think of him, made James think of him. The feeling weirdly enough escalated, and the young man even began to feel slightly nervous. 

Quickly he shook himself away from his thoughts and got himself together. He grabbed his final piece of the outfit and before he could turn around and leave-  
“Ah, I caught you before you went to bathe.”  
James froze, and his eyes widened in shock, knowing it was Ilberd.  
“Y-yes captain?” The young man stammered back.  
“I was wanting to speak to you.”  
“Why didn't you on the practice grounds?” James asked back, confused as to why he was being approached.  
“I did not think of such back then.” A soft smile came from the man, and James his nerves escalated. Even his heartbeat went through the roof. This certainly was not the time nor place to feel such emotions.  
“Are you feeling well?” The captain suddenly asked and shook James awake from his thoughts.  
“Yes, captain. I was merely wondering what your message would be. Had it been so important you needed to encounter me before I washed myself.”  
The young man was surprised by himself how he got it out clearly.  
“Is that truly so?” Ilberd smirked, making a few steps forward, making James back away a little. “One would say you are blushing up, and look like a nervous wreck.”

James now immediately turned as red as a tomato. Did Ilberd know all along!?  
“Do tell me, Fidelis.” The man started, as he took another step forward. “Why prolong these lessons? Why pretend you are never getting any better?”  
“I…” James was now completely with his back against the wall, looking down towards the floor. “I have no clue what you are speaking of.”  
“But you do. You think I hadn't noticed?” Ilberd’s stare got a little colder, and James pressed himself harder against the wall, almost wishing he could just merge through and run away at the other side of it. “Are you seeing me for a fool!?”James began to tremble slightly, feeling overwhelming guilt. “Surely we can waste our time for more pressing matters!”  
The captain’s voice was now raised, and James was avoiding his stare completely, not trying to show he was close to tears. “So why is it you are so keen on spending time together, private?” Ilberd then asked on a more calming note. “Is it because I knew your father, or you are keen on finding out more about his past and homeland?”  
James shook his head, but immediately regretted it, for the question that came after, he had no idea how to answer.  
“Then why, Fidelis?”  
“No… I cannot say.” James sputtered out, now feeling a few tears rolling on his cheeks. “I cannot…”  
“Speak up, as I mentioned, we do not have all day for your eluding games.”  
“Captain I just can't!” Sounding almost desperate, James bawled his fists and closed his eyes, just wishing he could vanish already.  
“Then consider these lessons forfeit. I shall not teach some brat who cannot be honest towards his own captain.”

James’ breath skipped, and in an instant he looked up towards the Ala Mhigan, who’s expression had turned quite sour.  
“No… please, I beseech you. I will try to be better! Be swifter and stronger! I will-”  
“Tell me what is bothering you.” Ilberd finished the sentence for him, making James freeze with his mouth open, unable to reply. A silence fell, and the young Hyur never did give a sound or clear answer to the man’s request.  
“Then I shall leave you to your thoughts, and I will expect you to be on duty tomorrow, instead of tugging my sleeve for some training you clearly do not seem to excel at.”  
James’ stare did not leave the floor as the man mentioned this, his eyes just were fixated on the pattern of the floor. The words Ilberd spoke didn't even reach him. All he could think was the right words to mention to his crush. Closing his eyes he felt a few tears rolling down his cheek. His nails buried inside the palm of his hand, shaking uncontrollably as he kept his frustrations inside. He heard the footsteps of Ilberd wandering off, but before the captain left the room, James opened his mouth, and a soft barely audible sentence escaped him.  
“Wait, captain… please…” 

It seems the words had reached the man, and he heard the footsteps come to a stop, even a shuffle, indicating he probably had turned around to face James once more.  
“I- might sound like an utter fool muttering these words…” James started after a short emotional sigh. “But the reason I want to spend time with you is because-” His brain shut down, as if it made a warning to James to not finish it and yet there was this frustration on why this was so. Surely the captain could not be more angry than he already was. “It’s because-...” A deep breath, and he looked straight into the green eyes of the captain. “I’ve grown absolutely smitten with you.” 

The Midlander’s cheeks, no his whole face, immediately turned red, he began burning up, and he could even feel himself transpire. There, it was out. He could feel himself softly shaking, as the young man was awaiting the response from Ilberd, who seemed to have frozen as well. The man’s expression turned quite the unexpected turn, no anger no furious gaze, but an amazed one. The long silence was interrupted by James’ uncontrolling chuckle, and feeling completely ashamed of it, the young private immediately bit on his lip to stop. His gaze also returning to the most interesting floor.  
“That was not what I expected.” Ilberd suddenly mentioned, still no anger. James was somewhat growing paranoid on when the outburst would come, but how the captain reacted now, was making him wonder if there was one to come at all. “A young boy, smitten with me.” 

“It sounds ridiculous, I know.” James shyly shuffled his feet, even held his hands behind his back, indicating how vulnerable this all was for him. “I would not hold it against you, if you decide to still forfeit the lessons…” the young private muttered on.  
“That was not what I was thinking of, Fidelis…” the captain’s voice was suspiciously calm still, and James was actually too scared to face him. The footsteps approached towards the blonde once more, who again began to press himself against the wall. A slap will most likely follow, alongside a lecture on not falling in love with your officials. But instead, he felt the warm rough hand of the man touching his chin, and forcing James to look up. A shocked gasp escaped him, as he once more looked up meeting the man’s gaze. There was something waking up inside him, a lust. Or was it just him being nervous. No it was more. James felt his whole body react to the gentle touch, hunger for more, for their lips to interact.  
And yet still, there was that doubt. The doubt that Ilberd might not want the same. Such uncertain signals, every move he could make could end up negative. Was there even a positive outcome? Was he even ready to admit to these feelings? 

The worst thing wasn’t even these feelings, it was the silence. James tried to read all the signals he could from Ilberd, but he just stood there, holding the young man’s chin up.  
The blonde could feel himself becoming restless, wanting to do something about this. And yet the scared feeling wouldn’t go away either. His heart was pounding faster and faster, and his belly felt like it could explode any second. Why did this have to feel so wrong and yet so right? It was with these thoughts he took a deep breath, and firmly grasped at the blue uniform of his captain, proceeding to pull him close. Tip toeing upwards, James pressed his lips on llberd’s with a force that was even too restless for his own taste, but it happened nonetheless. Not even a second after, the young man retreated, his whole body feeling numb from the weird tension he felt before. It’s as if it realised this move was wrong after all. Like a beaten dog, he retreated back to shy away against the wall, once more wishing he could just sink through. 

“My apologies captain…” James started, speaking towards the floor. “I-” before he could continue, it was now Ilberd’s turn to succumb to his feelings, and without any warning, their lips met once more. But now, James could feel it was an actual genuine kiss. The Ala Mhigan’s lips were softly caressing his, and the blonde was too overwhelmed to even react.  
Yet slowly, he was mimicking the man’s motions with his lips, and the young man was easing in, with every motion of his lips, his body felt so tingly, so sensitive. Without any warning, Ilberd began to lean into him, and pressed himself against James, who now felt himself being sandwiched between the wall and his captain. This didn’t help his need at all, for the man’s kissing also became a little rougher. James, who just had been standing stiff all this time, felt his arms go to the man’s neck and head, making sure to grasp on tight, pushing Ilberd ever so closer. These signals gave the captain a similar response to do the same with James, his hands now caressing through the white blonde hairs of his private, who in response got out a short enjoyable breath. The young man even felt himself blush up the moment he realised his pants became a little tighter in between his legs. He then finally realised it was pure arousal he felt. So this is what it feels like. 

Thinking about this, he chuckled through the kiss, and regretted that he did, for Ilberd ripped himself loose and started at him, clearly confused.  
“Is aught amiss?” the captain spoke up, and he even seemed flustered by his own actions, now realising what had passed. He stepped back almost immediately, looking with shock towards James, who opened his eyes wide by this sudden change of behaviour.  
“By Rhalgr…” Ilberd mumbled and gently touched his lips with the tips of his fingers. He then proceeded to look over to James, who once more seemed frozen against the wall. “Fidelis, tis best we do not partake into these emotions.”  
“Whatever do you mean, captain?” James sputtered out, upset that it clearly was not a welcomed feeling at all.  
“We shall stop this charade, here and now. There will be no private lessons anymore.” Ilberd mentioned, he sounded almost disgusted. “I shall transfer you over to the Fourth. You will not fall directly under my command anymore.”  
“Captain Ilberd!?” James felt tears forming in his eyes once more. This couldn’t be happening. What happened to that delightful moment. “I don’t understand…”  
“It was a mistake.” Ilberd’s voice became stern once more, his expression sour, his posture ready to give a beating, should James object to him. “Do not attempt to approach me with this again.” 

The captain then proceeded to stomp out of the room, leaving a confused and emotional James behind.  
“But why…” he mumbled to himself, and all those delightful feelings he felt before, now felt heavy and dreadful. He could still feel the kiss, as if it was branded on his lips forever. Feeling tears run down his face, he wiped his arm past them, as if he wanted to wipe away that oh so needed feeling. It’s over, there’s no desire anymore to be had. The answer was clear. taking in a sniff, he thought to himself to just be a big boy and take it. There was no need to cry about it and yet… He bawled up his fist, and slammed it against the wall he stood against not a mere moment ago, making a loud frustrated scream as well. Opening his eyes, he felt himself crying uncontrollably nonetheless. This really had gone out of hand. The young man began to ponder about how his next encounter with the captain would be like.  
“No… stop…” he once more mumbled, yet his voice shook, and his emotions riled up once more. “Stop…”  
The fist he still held against the wall slowly slid down, and soon his whole body followed. Now sitting with the back against the wall, James made himself as small as possible, clutching his arms around his legs and pressing his head against his knees. 

What the blonde did not know, is that the captain was listening in just behind the doorway. He couldn’t feel this bad about breaking the news… It was just a brat who doesn’t know his own bloody feelings, and he himself had to make the young lad aware of it. Closing his eyes he made a soft sigh and quietly walked on, leaving the private up to process what had passed.


End file.
